


Communication is Key

by WinterChrisp



Series: It hurts because it matters [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Caring Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Depression, Eddie Diaz gets his act together, First Kiss, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29090658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterChrisp/pseuds/WinterChrisp
Summary: Summary: What if instead of ignoring and keep being mad at Buck over the whole lawsuit thing, Eddie actually talked to Buck about it after getting his head on straight thanks to his son.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: It hurts because it matters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157642
Comments: 18
Kudos: 442
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Communication is Key

**A/N: So this is a little one-shot i wrote after binge watching the entirety of 9-1-1 in around 3 days.**

**I hope you like it.**

“Are you okay, mijo?” Eddie asked as he watch Carla place the food she had cooked on the table for him and Chris.

“Yes… no…” Chris mumbled as he started poking around in his food.

“Talk to me, mijo.” Eddie pleaded, after the tsunami Eddie really worried about Chris and his quiet spells.

“Today at school, me and Simon got in trouble even though it wasn’t our fault.” Chris started to explain slowly. “But the teacher never let us explain our side of the story, she just listened to the other kids without even asking us for our side.”

“Everybody should know to listen to both sides of a story before making judgement.” Carla smiled at Christopher.

Eddie listened with half an ear as they two of them discussed the whole thing about sides of a story and listening to all of them. The thoughts brought him back to Buck and he felt anger in the pit of his stomach but at the same time guilt started to creep in, he hadn’t really let Buck explain his side of the whole lawsuit thing and Eddie could admit, if only to himself, that he was more mad at Buck for giving the illusion about leaving Eddie and Chris just like Shannon did.

Eddie had known for a while that he loved Buck but until the tsunami, he hadn’t known how deep his feelings actually were and then he has to admit that he started to avoid Buck because he couldn’t handle the whole ‘falling in love with his best friend’ thing.

“Eddie?” Carla asked a little startled as Eddie stood up abruptly.

“I really need to talk to Buck.” Eddie started to gather his things. “I'm sorry to do this to you Carla, but it’s really important that I speak with him.”

“Go, but you owe me one.” Carla teased as Eddie smiled gratefully and rushed out the door.

***

Buck was sitting on a chair just looking out at the city. He knew he should make himself some dinner but what was the point? It’s not like anybody cared and he wasn’t hungry, the thought of eating only made him queasy and nauseous. Last time he ate was… two or three days ago, or at least, he thought it was two or three days ago.

He hadn’t had a restful night for even longer, not since before being stuck under the truck, and the nightmares got even worse after the tsunami. Somedays, like today, the only thing Buck wanted to do was end it. He wanted it to be over and done with, living, or rather, existing like this doesn't seem worth it.

The man he saw as a father figure lied to him and hadn’t called him by name for over a month, Hen had been sort of nice at the start when he came back but now, she was distant and cold, and Chim right out mocked him or left the room as soon as Buck entered. Eddie, the man who was the closest thing Buck had ever had to a best friend and who Buck might have feelings for, hated him with a passion. And it would be so very easy to just… end it. He was on blood thinners still and one good cut was all it took for this hell to be over.

Buck was knocked out of his dark thoughts by a couple of strong knocks on his door. At first, he contemplated to just ignore it but the knocking continued, so with a sigh he stood up and walked over to open the door.

“We need to talk.” Eddie pushed his way into the apartment.

“Are you going to call me exhausting again?” Buck asked as he closed the door. “Because if you are you don’t have to, I already know I'm exhausting and weak and stupid and useless and a waste of space and…”

Eddie felt like he had been punched in the gut as Buck trailed off on a strangled sob. He felt like such a dick, taking out his anger at himself, Shannon and his own insecurities on Buck.

“…I know it would be so easy to just _end it_ but I'm too much of a coward to do it.” Buck continued to ramble. “I _know_ it would be a relief for all of you if I just… went away.”

Eddie tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he felt tears gather in his eyes. “Buck… I am so, so sorry.”

“What?” Buck finally looked up at him and he had tears streaming down his face.

“I'm sorry.” Eddie walked up to him and went to place a hand on Buck’s shoulder but Buck flinched like Eddie was about to hit him.

“I'm the one who screwed up…” Buck stuttered out quickly, trying to hide his reaction to Eddie’s hand. “I just got so hurt by Bobby lying about the brass and my coming back to work and…”

“Wait, Bobby lied?” Eddie asked and he could feel the anger crawling up his throat.

“The doctors cleared me and so did the brass but Bobby made it out like they were the reason I wasn’t allowed back to work but it turns out that it was only Bobby who thought I wasn’t ready… he didn’t trust me I guess.” Buck mumbled quickly.

“I know that I do not deserve forgiveness for the way I have treated you, but I need you to know that you have done nothing wrong and that I'm so very truly sorry.” Eddie felt a pressure in his chest and fought down the urge to let his tears fall. “I was never angry at you. I was angry at Shannon and I was angry at myself. And then when you went to that lawyer it felt like you were leaving me just like Shannon did and I got scared and pushed you away.”

“Why would you be sacred of me leaving? I'm just a waste of space.” Buck shrugged as he looked down.

“You are not!” Eddie growled and then made himself calm down when he saw Buck flinch again. “I think I already knew after you almost got crushed by the truck but I knew with certainty when you collapsed after the tsunami.”

“Knew what?” Buck’s voice was almost too quiet to hear.

“I love you.” Eddie breathed out and felt lighter and more sure about it after he said it. “I love you so damn much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want to raise Christopher with you, I want to wake up beside you in the morning and fall asleep by your side at night, I want to cuddle on the couch as we watch movies with Christopher and I want to hold hands as we walk through the park.”

Buck felt like his breath had been stolen right out of his chest, Eddie loved him? He had never thought his feelings about Eddie would be so simply put, hell Buck had never really been attracted to a man before he met Eddie. But here Eddie was, confessing his love for Buck and stating that he wanted a life with him and Buck didn’t know how to react.

“Please say something?” Eddie begged. “If you don’t want to be friends anymore, I totally understand, but please just say something.”

“You love me?” Buck croaked out slowly.

“More than I've loved another person, except Christopher, in my entire life.” Eddie declared, knowing that he needed to be honest even if Buck didn’t feel the same way.

“You really hurt me.” Buck mumbled as he looked up at Eddie again.

“I know and I will spend the rest of my life making up for it if you let me.” Eddie promised as he placed a gentle hand on Buck’s cheek.

“I'm straight and I've always been straight.” Buck held up a hand to stop Eddie from speaking. “Then I met you and everything I thought I knew about my sexuality went out the window. That was one of the reasons I was so mean to you on your first day, I was sorta having a bi-panic.”

“Does this mean…?” Eddie felt hope bloom in his chest.

“That I have feelings for you to? Yes.” Buck nodded softly. “But Eddie, I can’t do this with you if you are going to go back to ignoring me when or if I screw up or make a mistake.”

“If I promise to get better at talking about what I feel and listening to your side of the story before doing anything, would you do me the honor of having dinner with me?” Eddie asked with a hopeful look. “As in a date, sort of dinner.”

“I would like that.” Buck looked at Eddie with a fragile smile.

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie whispered as he looked at Buck’s lips and back to his eyes.

“Yeah.” Buck breathed out and met Eddie in a soft, gentle kiss.


End file.
